What's the use...

I can't remember the last time I cried, and the thing is, I no longer know how to. I don't know but there is just something wrong with me. I probably developed this personality wherein I just keep it inside and look for other outlets other than bursting into tears. I know guys rarely cry, but some guys do express themselves better by crying their hearts out. I used to be that guy, whenever I feel bad, I just look for someone to talk to, and feel better after I cried. But now? I don't know... Like what I've mentioned earlier, maybe something's wrong with me, or this is just me.

Who cares, right? People will tell you: "Don't feel that way... we're here for you..." but are they really there for you? They only say that just to make you feel better, because people tend to tell you stuff that you want to hear, rather than what you need to know. Wouldn't it be better to hear: "Okay, just cry, cherish the sadness, because it will soon leave you after you extinguished all of it." Or something like: "Stop being a pussy!" Yeah, that's right, I have more things in mind than what you see. I only express a portion of it, and if you really want to know everything that runs into my mind, please make sure that you have a life jacket of some sort. What will you do if one day the one person you love the most disappears, without a trace, without any record of existence, and when you ask people about this person, they'd only think that you're going crazy for imagining things? You'd probably go crazy. So what's the use? I have no idea.

Am I still making sense? Again, I don't know. It's up to you to figure out if what I'm saying is still acceptable, either way... I don't care. That's why there are blogs, journals, pen and paper, to listen to your thoughts without giving you a crap load of thoughts about life. "Making sense by saying nonsense things" a friend told me this, which really made sense to me. Why think of the things that make sense, where you could just be your self and let the world decide if you need to be shot, stone, hanged, skinned alive and / or what not. This world is definitely screwed if that happened anyway. Why would you kill for words of expression? Why would you accuse someone for doing something bad, that was only done in writing? Again, I don't care.

Yes... can you feel that? I've also learned that you can infuse your feelings in what you write. Even though you write something that is happy and light, you can still put a pinch of sadness and anger to those words. I don't know how other people do it, but I can sometimes do that to my writings. Hello there, how are you feeling today? Feel that? There is a gloomy feeling, a dark room with a single chair placed beside a window, you sit down and look outside... can you feel that? Someone is looking at you, and then, there's the feeling of being watched... The power of words and imagination.

People even ask me, what's you blog page about? And I just respond with "Random thoughts, you don't really have to have a theme or something..." for my view about blogging is putting random stuff into the site until they notice it and realize that what you're saying makes sense. Again, I don't care.

I've said enough for now. I will leave you with a question. What's the use?

-Zeze over and out.